


Drops in the Cosmic Ocean

by Mercury17



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, post episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 22:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17733455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mercury17/pseuds/Mercury17
Summary: Some codas to some TOS episodesStarting with The Paradise Syndrome.  I just really wanted Spock to finally have a nap.





	Drops in the Cosmic Ocean

He hasn't slept he hasn't slept he hasn't slept

 

It has been 3 days 2 hours and 49 minutes since the crisis passed. Since Kirk was found, rescued, and the asteroid diverted. Vulcans can go as long as two months without sleep when necessary. He is not biologically wholly Vulcan. It is no longer necessary to go without sleep.

 

He hasn't slept.

 

He was worried, of course, about the Captain. The man had so abruptly been wrenched back into this life, and has had to recover from damage both mental and physical. Therefore really Spock still being this alert, this ready for action, still walking this knife edge of cataclysm makes sense. Not that Vulcans worry, of course.

 

This is Spock's second shift on the bridge with the Captain back in the command chair. Spock is listening intently to any sound from behind him. He found last shift the Captain was far too quiet. Kirk somehow never manages to stop making noises, and the long periods of stillness and silence on the last shift had been... unnerving. Spock knows, of course, that humans often exhibit changes to their behavior when recovering from trauma. He finds now that every beat of quiet on the bridge is an emergency, means his Captain is not yet healed means...

 

... means if he doesn't concentrate then someone will notice the tremor in his hands. Spock's hands do not normally shake, he is sure of this. And yet the past few days they have felt weak and clumsy and will not stay _still_. He files the hands issue away for later. He should be able to deal with all these problems - the Captain, his shift, and his hands - at once. He holds two roles (demanding roles, if he's honest) aboard this ship as a matter of course. Currently, however, there is not enough space for three problems.

 

Between them the senior officers have managed to get some routine survey work to the top of the priority list. They decide it is just what the ship and her Captain need - busy, but not dangerous, important, and routine enough to let the Captain get a feel for the ship breathing, carrying out every day life around him.

 

By that logic, the calming and distracting nature of the work should also have its effect on Spock. And yet,

 

And yet he hasn't slept...

 

And yet another string of coordinates slide through his mind without making sense. He frowns down at his work station. This is not how he will help Kirk. Not with unsteadiness and confusion. Whilst some deep part of him realizes despite himself that he needs to let go, that he cannot carry on like this and be a help to this ship and her Captain, the more immediate reaction is more fear and panic and urgency, more resolve to keep going, more, one more hour and

 

and he does not sleep

 

 

It is 5 hours 31 minutes later, 8 hours and 3 minutes into the shift, that Kirk moves in the command chair, and the movement pulls on injuries not quite healed and forces him to make a small gasp of pain. Spock, reflexes heightened by adrenaline, snaps round to check on the Captain. He moves too quickly, and the room does not stop spinning for him. 

 

He is aware of the full 1.02 seconds it takes for his perspective to shift from a vertical view of the command chair to a horizontal one. Vulcans do not get motion sickness yet he cannot help feeling a lurch of nausea in his descent to the ground. He blinks and a pair of boots occupy his entire field of vision. He blinks again and Kirk's face is before his, his Captain looks concerned - panicked even - and Spock wonders distantly what the crisis is. He tries to ask what but time becomes fuzzy again and medical crew are on the bridge and this is serious he should really say something and

 

He is in sickbay and he is aware time has passed. He tries to concentrate on how much. There are people around and it is noisy.

 

He is back in his cabin and he knows it is 28 hours 32 minutes since his... collapse? Yes that seems to be what happened. In the vulnerability of his just awakened state he cannot quite catch the deep shame that blossoms at the idea that he collapsed on the bridge during a shift. He fell asleep at his station. He manages to regain his normal emotional inertia, but remains aware of a slight... discomfort in within himself.

 

Kirk is sitting next to his bed, he seems to have dragged the desk chair across the room to station himself there. Spock thinks of all the more important places the Captain should be rather than at his bedside, and yet he cannot deny the - _pleasure, happiness, relief?_ \- loosening of his discomfort at finding Kirk there.

 

Kirk smiles when he notices Spock is awake. Spock finds himself oddly grateful for this instance of the man being so free with his emotions. 

 

Spock clears his throat, "Captain, I feel I must apologize for my dereliction of duty," he says. There is an unsatisfactory hoarseness to his voice.

 

Kirk wordlessly hands him a cup of water and shakes his head, "It was nothing of the sort Spock," he says, "you just gave us a bit of a scare,"

 

"I believe the example I set for the crew of sleeping on duty was undesirable to say the least, Captain,"

 

Kirk waves his hand dismissively, "They were impressed more than anything I think, when they heard what had happened. But don't let that encourage you to try for 3 months without sleep this time,"

 

Spock raises an eyebrow, "I did not realize everyone on the crew was aware of my sleeping habits,"

 

Kirk smiles ruefully, "McCoy made us all aware. I must say though I don't particularly like finding out how and why that my first has pushed himself to the point of collapse only when my CMO is muttering curses at his unconscious form,"

 

"My apologies again Captain, you can be assured I do not take this lightly,"

 

"Spock you steered the ship and her crew through a prolonged crisis. You cannot allow yourself be ashamed at the physical toll that took on you,"

 

There is a not-quite-accepting silence.

 

"Care to tell me why you hadn't gone to bed yet? It'd been 3 days since we'd been down there,"

 

"I was merely," Spock clears his throat again, because of the dryness he is sure, not because he is unclear on what to say, "It was necessary to make sure you were ... well Captain, before I could consider the issue resolved,"

 

"You made yourself ill making sure I was well?" Kirk laughs softly

 

"Are you well, Captain?"

 

Kirk's eyes cloud slightly, but he nods.

 

"Well enough, it seems more and more distant with each hour that passes. And don't think I didn't notice the deflection,"

 

Spock nods, gratified by the honesty.

 

He makes to sit up, but the room still spins alarmingly at the motion. Kirk frowns.

 

"How about..." Kirk says, "You update me on everything that happened whilst I was gone," He holds up a hand to ward of the inevitable, "Yes I received your report, I want the details in between. Talk me through everyone and everything, tell me what I _missed_. After all, it's not like you slept through any of it,"

 

Spock nods in understanding. He begins to talk. He has got to Scotty's feud with Lt. Saloman over the correct replicator settings for coffee when he becomes aware he is able to sleep. He is not quite at the falling-down level of tired he was clearly at before, but he still feels a bone deep exhaustion. And he becomes slowly aware that this is what Kirk had intended. That he had sat there in solidarity and comfort. And Spock lets his eyes closed and his words drift to silence with that knowledge.

 

Whilst he has defied physics and his own biology for the last 2 months to bring about the impossible, he has needed this help to go the last small step to rest.

 

He may not be able to admit the friendship he feels as he succumbs to a restful sleep but he cannot deny the gentle warmth that settles on him.

 

Kirk sits and watches, and makes a metal note to order comfier desk chairs for the Enterprise, if he is to complete any further vigils of this most stubborn of crews.


End file.
